Keeping to my own promises is one of the hardest things I had to discipline myself. I find it really difficult to keep a diary - a daily one. It is really almost a year since I wrote down about what I feel, what I think and what I did since I took up Counseling Skill. I am back tonight to answer these 8 questions: 1. What happened? 2. What were your feelings?3. How did you react? 4.What did you do?5.What did you learn about yourself?6. What did you learn from the situation? 7.What were your assumptions in entering this situation? 8.How have these assumptions been changed?Today I went to class at 2.00pm as usual. I was surprise everyone look well into a long class, I later found out that session had started as early as 12.00pm. I was on campus but no one inform me about the class time change? who change the time? One more shock when my own group mate accidentally told me there was class on last week, (I was happily holidaying instead, I really would appreciate it if someone just tell me even though I could not make it) I was damned angry, boy no one had my phone number? we do have a group e mail...did any one really care or know I existed?are these the kind of counselors we are going to be? I was angry about being left out?I checked the group email so many times, Could not the Dr.post these time changes through the email. He may have told this one guy who forgot to contact me or do not have my numbers?As I drank down my anger I cool off about being sore at classmates who forgot to contact me. At that time I felt so unappreciated and frustrated. I wanted so much to learn on the techniques, practicum and now I learned I missed the best part of those demos- i missed in all at least 6 demos. Now I know, I have not made any friend who cares. I start to evaluate things from my end. Is this the type of communication of level I am capable of? Only at superficial level?I began to apply the ABC model of REBT to my situation. Boy I am awfulizing the situation and making myself sick. Actually I was not well, I have been having asthmatic problem an coughing. Now that I wrote it down I felt better. I am better at controlling my feeling nowadays I do not keep it in me I learn to let go integrate it with other things in my life. I am already too old to get stuck at one level of communication. I want to move on. All this time I know about not to blame others, justifying my doing and be responsible, it is still easier said than done.
